Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Man vs. Junk Food Round 5/ Hostess Twinkies

The Conclusion of the Junk Food Adventure

Tonight marked the conclusion of the Man vs Junk Food adventure. Whew! Five rounds of putting stuff into me that I would never do on a normal basis. Perhaps mainstays for some, however, a never again for me. The Big Mac was the worst. I can't imagine ever wanting to put that inside of me again. The Cheetos were really pretty good going down but the orange trail in the pool was embarrassing. The Girl Scout cookies were a harmless snack but didn't pack much taste. The Little Debbie Snack cakes were a great first bite but then quickly gummed up the mouth beyond belief. And finally...

Tonight's taste treat was 6 Hostess Twinkies before my 22 mile spin. You know Twinkies will always be Twinkies. I still wonder what the white stuff is that they put inside because it just doesn't go anywhere in your mouth. Mind you I was eating them as I was driving home today. Think if someone were to be behind me and see me unwrapping 6 Twinkies in a span of 6-7 block. Yep, I snarffed them. Sometimes in two bites. Gross? Yes! The first one went down easily. The other five were like jamming meat into a sausage grinder. I literally used the palm of my hand to shove numbers 5 and 6 in.

The the stomachache hit. Just about as I was to climb on the trainer, the Twinkies decided they didn't want to. The pain started as a small rumble then progressed into a full blown double sided side stitch. So I stopped mid trainer mount and froze. What to do. The Twinkies were rebelling. No trainer ride tonight they were saying. But alas, mind over stomach. The pain went away as quickly as it came. But the taste in my mouth was as if I had eaten the world's cheapest wedding cake. All of it! It was disgusting. So what did I do? Well Mr. Nutrition here washed it down with Gatorade G2. Mistake #2. Let me tell you know. G2 and Twinkies don't mix. At all! The rest I will leave to your imagination. It wasn't a good site.

Luckily, I had a couple of phone calls during m y ride to take my mind off the grossness of what I was doing. One very meaningful one was to pledge to fund raising drive for our nearest NPR station. With pleasure, I talked and talked to the kind lady about pledging and what I was doing. If you are an NPR fan, now is the time to put some cash up to support real news and programming that will knock your socks off on a daily basis!

So the saga ends. I must say that none of the junk food kept me from training. However, had I eaten it 5 days in a row, it would have been a different story. Training would have come to an abrupt stop I imagine.

2012 Brings the next challenge. Bars, gels, chews, and drinks. I look forward to picking and reporting on the different products that will be used. Whoops, my stomach just flip flopped. Twinkies or the 2012 talk??

Two Things to Ponder

1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

2. The state with the highest percentage of people that walk to work: Alaska

Still Trying to Get Over

Still trying to get over the sausage wrapped in a pancake on a stick served as breakfast this morning to elementary school students at my school. Some things just don't make sense. Oh yeah, with syrup dripping down the stick.


How to get the last Wet-Wipe out. Why does it always fall down?

Forward we go! May your adventures on the roads, trails, pools, and lakes be happy and safe and bring you peace. Take care out there!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Man vs Junk Food Round 4/ Cheetos Express Explosion

Things They Tell Not to do Before a Swim

Tonight was the Man vs Junk Food Round 4 swim night festivities. I had not tried junk food before a swim. Now I know why. Prior to swimming, I ate a whole bag. Yes a whole bag. Almost 10 oz. of Cheetos. They went down better than the Big Mac by far. But then.......

As I started my speedwork I noticed an orange trail behind me as I swam. I thought, "Wow, I am really swimming fast tonight". The I realized it was the Cheetos Explosion trail of orange. As you all would guess no matter how many times you wash your hands, the orange will never come off. However, in pool water it comes off like crazy. I know I had it all the way up to my ears. I practically had my head in the bag eating they were so good. Felt a litle full but other than that started the swim feeling prety good.

Honestly, other than the pool turning orange, there was absolutely no effect from the junk food Cheetos. No stomach issues, nothing. An ocasional "burp" underwater which was really fun and amazing. In fact they may have carbo'd me into new speeds. It was a good easy speed swim and really nothing else to atribute it to other than the Cheetos.

So like the race car drivers and soccer players, tonight I am sewing the bag onto the back of my skinsuit. It will look so cool. A new sponsorship maybe?

Pool Change
The worse part of the evening was the fact that my warm pool is closing until January 4th and I will now be swimming in a pool that is very much the same as the Arctic. It is a pool that makes me about as cold as I have ever been. I am concerned about swimming my distances in such a pool and also they have shorter hours in the evenings. So tonight was the last swim of 2011 in the warm pool. It will be a huge change. Yeah I know you all are saying "suck it up" and swim. All I will say back to you is that I will be stuffing my skinsuit with used Cheetos bags and trying to stay warm.

Winter Tip

No matter what type of workouts or races you have planned. If it is a long run/ride/ or swim on the weekend, please hydrate and add a higher protein/carbs mix during the week and not the night before. Your body needs fuel. Fill it up and treat it well.

Forward we go! May your adventures on the roads, trails, pools, and lakes be happy and safe and may they bring you peace! Take care out there!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Man vs. Junk Food Round 3/ Big Mac Attacked!

Attacked by a Big Mac

I should have known when I picked up my Big Mac and the person handing it to me said it was America's Number 1 sandwich and then laughed.... that I was in trouble. I should have stopped at that point and thought things through. But no, I proceeded on. SUV smelling like the back end of some run down hamburger stand. Still, the anticipation of just what might happen was way too inviting. All the way home as the windows fogged up with that greasy aroma, all that a Big Mac is, I knew before me was a short run with several pre-determined stops if necessary.

Home at last, I opened the box and took that first bite of that hot juicy glob of stuff. It almost didn't go down. Later I would find out that it also won't come up. I sat there and tried as hard as I could to get it down. It reminded me of the show Fear Factor where the contestants eat just about everything imaginable. But wait, wasn't this America's Number 1 sandwich? So down it went.

On with the running clothes. The sodium from my friend the Big Mac already visible on my lips after just getting dressed. I started the run, in the rain as well, with some doubt that I would get through the short 7 mile run. After about a half mile, the gastro concert began. First just the woodwind section. Soft and subtle. But still there. After a mile, the brass started into the mix. Certain flavors of my Big Mac were revisiting my mouth area. Things were getting a bit more nvolved now. Pace slowed and cramping of the stomach let me know that the percussion section wasn't far behind. (No pun intended.)

Then it hit with a fury. Miles 4-7 were cascading into a sodium body freeze. Legs grew heavy. Energy hit rock bottom. (Again no pun intended.) The run was in trouble. The stomach at this point sounded like a very large marching band. Thinks were moving in ways that I didn't know they could. I was focused on getting home. My pace grew faster somehow. Perhaps my body knew it must get to the homefront. Fast!

With one last burst of energy I could see the lights of home! They key in the door. Then "BOOM" the cymbals crashed into a loud crescendo and...........

May your adventures on the roads, trails, pools and lakes be happy and safe and bring you peace!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Man vs. Junk Food Round 2

Effect Zero

With all due respect to the Girl Scouts of the USA and their wonderful cookie sales, I did classify their cookies as junk food. Now, take into consideration that I am sure some individuals could live on Thin Mints for many years but the fact is that there is little if any nutritional value in their products. That said....

Today before my training run that consisted of stadium stairs, field sprints, and an 8 mile run, I ate a few Girl scout cookies. Well to be exact, 20 of them. I thought 20 cookies would surely do something to me. The Shout Outs cookies were mine for a day. By eating 20, I had about 269 calories, 10g of fat, 16g sugar, 4g protein. My normal intake before a workout is nearly 4x's that as far as calories and at least 10x's that for proteins. so needless to say I either should have eaten two boxes or just eaten the box itself and called it good.

They were tasty. But as far as providing any usefulness for my training there was none. Actually I find it a little hard to even call them "junk food" when you look at the ingredients on the panel on the box. They gave me no energy whatsoever. Much of what I used as far as energy stores was what accumulated throughout the day as far as snacks, breakfast, and lunch.

So Round 2 was a disappointment. No effect from the snack. So the next opportunities for the snacks to reach up and get me are next Tuesday and Thursday. Until then, feel free to have about 20 Shout Outs and have a free mind about doing it. Either that or salt the box and have a go at it.

Suggestions are welcome as far as what you would consider "junk food". Just let me know and I'll give it a try. I don't feel that I have really scratched the surface of possibilities yet. Pretty tame snacks so far.

Forward we go! May your adventures on the roads, trail, pools, and lakes be happy and safe and bring you peace of mind! Take care out there!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Man vs Junk Food Report #1

Man vs. Junk Food #1

Well tonight kicks off the first of 5 workouts where I have replaced my regular pre- run, bike, swim snack with junk food. For those of you wondering where this is all going here's the plan:
Phase 1- Junk Food
Phase 2- Back to Bars and gels or chewies
Phase 3- All whole foods

So those of you waiting to see if I would blow snack tonight, you are going to be disappointed. I ate 4 Little Debbie Cakes that totaled 600 calories, 26g fat, 2g protein, and 58g sugar. Plus some things I don't even want to know about.

I have to honestly report that there were no problems. I had a great workout. No stomach trouble. No sugar drop. No problems of any kind. In fact it was one of my better workouts for the week. Oh yeah, it's only Tuesday, HA! Seriously, things settled well and had about the same energy as I have had with other workout prep.

Thursday will will be the next workout with some junk food. Have not decided what's next but I better ramp it up a bit i looks like. Now I understand Dean Karnazes a little better. Mr. Ultra Marathon Man.


Do UPS drivers have GPS in their trucks? The letters would confuse me. "Hello, I have a delivery from GPS, I mean UPS."

Forward we go! May your roads, trails, pools, and lakes be happy and safe and bring you piece of mind.