Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Man vs. Junk Food Round 5/ Hostess Twinkies

The Conclusion of the Junk Food Adventure

Tonight marked the conclusion of the Man vs Junk Food adventure. Whew! Five rounds of putting stuff into me that I would never do on a normal basis. Perhaps mainstays for some, however, a never again for me. The Big Mac was the worst. I can't imagine ever wanting to put that inside of me again. The Cheetos were really pretty good going down but the orange trail in the pool was embarrassing. The Girl Scout cookies were a harmless snack but didn't pack much taste. The Little Debbie Snack cakes were a great first bite but then quickly gummed up the mouth beyond belief. And finally...

Tonight's taste treat was 6 Hostess Twinkies before my 22 mile spin. You know Twinkies will always be Twinkies. I still wonder what the white stuff is that they put inside because it just doesn't go anywhere in your mouth. Mind you I was eating them as I was driving home today. Think if someone were to be behind me and see me unwrapping 6 Twinkies in a span of 6-7 block. Yep, I snarffed them. Sometimes in two bites. Gross? Yes! The first one went down easily. The other five were like jamming meat into a sausage grinder. I literally used the palm of my hand to shove numbers 5 and 6 in.

The the stomachache hit. Just about as I was to climb on the trainer, the Twinkies decided they didn't want to. The pain started as a small rumble then progressed into a full blown double sided side stitch. So I stopped mid trainer mount and froze. What to do. The Twinkies were rebelling. No trainer ride tonight they were saying. But alas, mind over stomach. The pain went away as quickly as it came. But the taste in my mouth was as if I had eaten the world's cheapest wedding cake. All of it! It was disgusting. So what did I do? Well Mr. Nutrition here washed it down with Gatorade G2. Mistake #2. Let me tell you know. G2 and Twinkies don't mix. At all! The rest I will leave to your imagination. It wasn't a good site.

Luckily, I had a couple of phone calls during m y ride to take my mind off the grossness of what I was doing. One very meaningful one was to pledge to fund raising drive for our nearest NPR station. With pleasure, I talked and talked to the kind lady about pledging and what I was doing. If you are an NPR fan, now is the time to put some cash up to support real news and programming that will knock your socks off on a daily basis!

So the saga ends. I must say that none of the junk food kept me from training. However, had I eaten it 5 days in a row, it would have been a different story. Training would have come to an abrupt stop I imagine.

2012 Brings the next challenge. Bars, gels, chews, and drinks. I look forward to picking and reporting on the different products that will be used. Whoops, my stomach just flip flopped. Twinkies or the 2012 talk??

Two Things to Ponder

1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

2. The state with the highest percentage of people that walk to work: Alaska

Still Trying to Get Over

Still trying to get over the sausage wrapped in a pancake on a stick served as breakfast this morning to elementary school students at my school. Some things just don't make sense. Oh yeah, with syrup dripping down the stick.


How to get the last Wet-Wipe out. Why does it always fall down?

Forward we go! May your adventures on the roads, trails, pools, and lakes be happy and safe and bring you peace. Take care out there!!!

1 comment:

Andy Woolard said...

as your son, i'm glad this is over. now please go to the cardiologist. you need the dyson of catheters to get rid of that junk.
AND please have something appropriate awaiting our holiday run...i'm not participating in a Christmas-cookie fuel up! Great blogs dad.